Now @ Xavier

How Do You Combat Depression During a Quarantine?

Apr 27, 2020

One student tells us about his journey

Antoine Hudson is a junior marketing major from Cleveland who celebrates his 21st birthday April 30. In this personal narrative, he reflects on what quarantine is like for someone who struggles with anxiety and depression — and how Xavier was able to help him cope.

Where do I even begin?

When COVID-19 started to spread, I never thought about how much it could affect me until it actually did. I think that’s true for a lot of things in life, like appreciating people while they’re here on this Earth, instead of giving them their roses after they’re gone. It’s the unexpected things that ultimately show us how strong we truly are. 

See, the social distancing came at a time when I already practiced a little on my own, due to my mental health. Since my sophomore year of college, I have dealt with anxiety and depression, another unexpected thing that has affected my life. 

I never thought someone like me would ever deal with mental health problems, especially depression, because I was always one of the happiest in the room, always trying to make people smile and laugh. I never really acknowledged my feelings, happy or sad. I would always brush things off because it was easier that way. But at night I would sit in bed, unable to sleep, thoughts racing through my mind. I’d think about things I had to do, things I’d done, what happened today and what might happen tomorrow.

I saw a lot of sunrises that year.

Then, last October, I ran into a friend at the Center for Diversity and Inclusion. She told me I didn’t look right, that it seemed like I had no energy, and lost my spark. She knew exactly what I was going through, and she gave me the number to Xavier’s Health and Counseling Services.

It changed my life. Every two weeks since then, I’ve met with my counselor. Even through an uneven school year, I was able to make progress. My goal was to find consistency, and to really discover what I needed to worry about. Then I could just let go of everything else.  

But, as we said, the unexpected occurs. This spring we were hit with a pandemic. So how does someone who has dealt with — and is still dealing with — all of this stuff sit around in a quarantine? It’s not easy. This is definitely one of the hardest times I’ve ever gone through in my life. Like I mentioned before, I never thought how much this virus could affect me.

Then it took one of my family members.

Two weeks ago, I lost my great aunt, at the age of 84, due to COVID. My Mom always says, “When it rains it pours,” and “God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.”

This loss was very tough on me because when you’re a kid growing up you think the people in your family are going to be there forever. She was one of those people that always knew what to say, always was smiling and laughing, always was kind, and most importantly, always spread her love to those around her.

A funeral was out of the question due to COVID, but since she passed we have celebrated her life by enjoying each other as family, over FaceTime and Zoom, as she would want us to. 

As you would expect, my anxiety became overbearing again. I even started this clock in my head, and I was convinced that things would be better by my 21st birthday (April 30). Sadly, they’re not. We don’t realize how much we appreciate things until they are taken away … unexpectedly. 

Luckily, my friends, family and my counselor have helped me through this. It is easier to cope when you keep yourself busy, as I have learned. So, with the help of my Xavier counselor, as well as friends I’d made in the Center for Diversity and Inclusion, I was able to come up with a list of things to help me get through the tragedy, as well as my days of quarantine. 

Here’s what I’ve found out:

  • Talk to your therapist.
  • Stay busy with work or activities.
  • Have a schedule, make a list and stick to it.
  • Have hobbies. Revisit old ones or pick up new ones to stimulate your mind. I was able to dust off the old piano and give it another try.
  • My Mom says to only watch the news once a day, usually in the morning. There’s too much negativity, she says, but you still need to know what’s going on.
  • Use your social media wisely. Twitter and TikTok are good for comedy, which is a good release. Instagram is good to share family and nature pics.
  • Find time to go outside, or go for a drive. Get out and walk around. Breathe.
  • Force yourself to communicate with friends and family, whether that’s through the computer or phone.
  • Most importantly, tell all of these special people what’s going on. Let them know how you feel. They can help you.


I’ve learned that the only way to get through this is to keep yourself busy, taking it one day at a time, and communicating with those who are special to you. We don't know what the future looks like, but we know there is a future ahead of us. We have to keep that in mind and prepare for what comes after this.

So stay the course, love and spend time with your families, and most importantly, love and take care of yourself.

Have you been affected by COVID-19 or need help? Visit our Student Services page for guidance.