Wednesday
Since there are only two short weeks left of Calendar City (I know, citizens, I know...be strong...), I have decided to come clean on a number of deep dark secrets that I’ve been holding back for years...
First of all, I am not a vegetarian. I always say that I am. Go ahead and ask me next time you see me on campus. I will tell you I’m a vegetarian. I am lying. Shortly after the conversation I will likely eat something that used to be alive. I guess I always figure that as long as I think I’m a vegetarian and am not eating meat at the time you’re asking me, I can consider myself a vegetarian.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Thursday
At 11 p.m. tonight, “Charlie Wilson’s War” will be showing in the Gallagher Student Center Theatre.
Sometimes when people are talking to me, I zone out and start attempting to turn their facial features into a Picasso-like painting. I wonder what they’d look like if their eyes were inside their mouth or something.
It’s not that I’m not interested in what you’re saying, I’m just probably not interested in what you’re saying. That’s all.
Friday
Sometimes I pretend to be on my cell phone just to avoid conversations with people. Then, I continue to make fun of people who get on their cell phones to avoid conversation. It’s hypocritical. This I know.
My favorite article of clothing that I had when I was little was a red cape that had glittery gold writing. I used to wear it around my house even when I wasn’t playing with somebody else. I used to cry because my parents wouldn’t let me sleep in it.
Saturday
Last issue I accidentally lied. I told you that “Voices for Change” was last weekend. It is actually this weekend. It will be this Friday through Sunday at 7:30 p.m. in the Studio Theatre. Whoops! Go see it this weekend!
According to my notes, which I’m certain have not been tampered with at all, today is officially “Patrick Stevenson Appreciation Day” with a keynote speech by Stephen Colbert.
This will be taking place in Patrick Stevenson’s imagination all day to day.
Be sure to stop by!
Sunday
Also according to my notes, which again I’m sure have not been tampered with at all, today is the first day of “Briana Hansen Sucks Week.” The celebrations begin at sundown with a BBQ on the greenspace. There will be ice cream and lemonade for all! Briana Hansen SUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKs. Huh, I don’t remember writing that in my notes.
Monday
Today there will be an Argentine singer at 7 p.m. in the GSC Theatre.
Another deep dark secret...when I was in high school, I snuck out of my friend’s house (with her) one night to spend like 15 minutes with my oh-so-dreamy 3-week boyfriend. Things were so perfect until we both realized we didn’t really like each other.
When I was in second grade, I wrote my own version of “Fiddler on the Roof” and made my friends act it out with me while I played Tevye. My mom made us sandwiches. I was being bossy. I thought we could perform it for the entire school when school started, then maybe take it on tour.
Tuesday
This is my deepest, darkest, most embarassing secret I have yet to reveal to you, Calendar citizens...and to the entire world. I secretly listen to Hannah Montana when her song comes on the radio. I’ve listened to it so much that I know the majority of the lyrics and find myself singing them in my head or aloud. I’m not proud of it, but admitting my weakness is the first step to recovery.
Briana Hansen
Calendar City Editor
The Xavier Newswire 3800 Victory Parkway Cincinnati, Ohio 45207-2129 On-campus location: The Publications House, 3739 Ledgewood Dr. Telephone: 513.745.3607 Advertising: 513.745.3561 Fax: 513.745.2898 Email: Kathryn Rosenbaum
Editor-in-Chief Nathan Sergio
Advertising Manager Full list of staff contacts www.xu.edu/newswire
