Wednesday
I’m feeling rather nostalgic this week...
I miss the good ol’ days when Calendar City didn’t move around all parts of the paper. We were always in one location on the back page that we could pretend was the front page by simply folding the paper differently.
I miss Soupies. The comraderie that came from all ages coming together for a night of nonsense has yet to be replaced.
I miss the 1940s when everybody wore classy hats and sounded like they were stepping out of a film noir-style movie. The men would say things like “Mmmmmyah, see” with crazy-sounding accents.
If I could go back in time, I would go back to the era when women wore giant hats, spoke with raspy voices, sachéd everywhere they went and smoked cigarettes that didn’t give them cancer.
I also miss the days when you could catch a trolley to the latest moving picture for only a nickel! Nowadays a nickel won’t buy you much more than an hour listening to P. Stevenson talk about himself...
Thursday
I have a challenge for you, calendar citizens. As avid readers of this column, you are already better than the rest of the student body. As Wonder Woman says, “With great power comes great responsibility.”
So I challenge you, citizens, to do something out of your comfort zone...smile at someone today. That’s right. Simply...smile. When you’re passing somebody by, especially if you know them, take a moment to look them in the eyes and smile.
Yes, it sounds cheesy but I don’t care. I sometimes get in Cranky McCrankerson moods that can be fixed with a simple stranger-smile.
Friday
Perhaps some of my nostalgia is coming from the fact that I have only a few precious months left before the scary whirlwind beyond Xavier sweeps me out of my precious little bubble and I can’t call Physical Plant people in order to get something fixed and they’ll talk nicely to me and I’ll talk nicely to them and by the end of the conversation, I’d have a new friend and a warm room...
Then again, my nostalgia could come from the fact that I listened to the Cher song “Turn Back Time” and have it stuck in my head.
Either way, both today and yesterday, there will be a giant pre-graduation preparation gala from 11 a.m. until 7 p.m. in the GSC.
I think I’m finally ready to tell you all why I cry myself to sleep every night...
But first! Let me tell you about a fun fun fun thing to do this weekend! Fun fun fun! Fun fun fun! Things in threes! Three three three!
Beginning at 8 p.m., the RSA community council will have a Sadie Hawkins “UNWRAPPED” dance with food, prizes and music.
It’s gon’ be off the chaiiiiiinz.
You know what else is off the chaiiiiiiinz? Fearing crickets!!!
I fear crickets. I don’t like how they jump around upredictably. When I was younger, I had two crickets in a little cage. I came home one day and I only had one full cricket. And a cricket leg.
Saturday
I do not understand the world-wide infatuation with text messaging. Now, I love a good text-versation as much as the next person. For the most part though, I prefer simply speaking on the phone.
The following is a conversation that could happen with a simple phone call placed at 1:56 p.m.:
Alan: “Hey, what time are you picking me up from the airport?”
Mackey: “About seven. Is that cool?”
Alan: “Fine see you then. Terminal three.”
Mackey: “Cool, thanks.”
The conversation is over by 1:57 p.m. See how easy that was? It is a simple exchange of information.
Sunday
This is how the previous conversation would go by texting:
Alan (1:56 p.m.): “Hey.”
Mackey(1:58 p.m.): “Hi. Sup?”
Alan (2:04 p.m.): “Nuthin.”
Alan (2:09 p.m.): “U?”
Mackey (2:13 p.m.): “Nuthin.”
Alan (2:19 p.m.): “Kewl.”
Mackey (2:26 p.m.): “Yep.”
Alan (2:45 p.m.): “U still need me to get you?”
Mackey (2:56 p.m.): “Yeah.”
Monday
Mackey (3:04 p.m.): “Kewl?”
Alan (3:10 p.m.): “Fo sho.”
Mackey (3:12 p.m.): “LOL.”
Alan (3:17 p.m.): “LMAO.”
Mackey (3:20 p.m.): “CU tom.”
Alan (3:22 p.m.): “OK.”
Alan (3:26 p.m.): “Where?”
Mackey (3:31 p.m.): “Term 3.”
Alan (3:45): “Kewl.”
Do you see how much time and energy that took? Meanwhile, Alan never met Mackey at the airport because he got into a minor accident when he was texting and driving!
Tuesday
Tuesday should officially be delcared the most boring day of the week. There is never anything happening on campus!
If you start looking for something to do, you should just stop. There isn’t anything. Ever.
Oh! Silly me! What was I thinking? I forgot today is the day Ohio gets to vote in the presidential primary! Make sure you get up off that hot new booty and get to voting!
Yes, we can.
Briana Hansen
Calendar City Editor
The Xavier Newswire 3800 Victory Parkway Cincinnati, Ohio 45207-2129 On-campus location: The Publications House, 3739 Ledgewood Dr. Telephone: 513.745.3607 Advertising: 513.745.3561 Fax: 513.745.2898 Email: Kathryn Rosenbaum
Editor-in-Chief Nathan Sergio
Advertising Manager Full list of staff contacts www.xu.edu/newswire
