Wednesday
Snoopy: The most fantastic creature in all of dog history.
It is so much fun having so much color surrounding me! I feel like I’m Dorothy and I’ve just stepped into the land of Oz and I’m holding Toto and we are scared but we are excited for our new adventure because we have a feeling we will meet new friends and learn about ourselves in the process.
My Toto breed wouldn’t be a Yorkshire Terrier like he was in the film. My Toto would be my Snoopy who was my Beagle/Terrier/Cow/Manatee mix who was my first and most beloved dog.
He was the greatest dog that ever lived.
Ever.
I will personally fight anyone who disagrees with me.
Bring it on.
Thursday
If you think my Snoop-a-loop is funny, you must have a horrible sense of humor and should not go see “Happy Gilmore” at 11 p.m. in the GSC Theater.
Snoopy was a beautiful creature. He was like an artist that was way ahead of his time. He was too modern for your feeble, unprogressive minds. He was the masterpeice that could only be truly appreciated by more intellectually advanced minds of the future.
He was truly beautiful.
Friday
This weekend is quite a weekend for birthday celebrations. If you happen to celebrate a birthday yesterday and will be celebrating said birthday the entire weekend with your roomate/soul sister, cheers to you pookums.
What better way to celebrate a significant birthday weekend than with a “Holy Power Hour” sponsored by Life After Sunday at 8 p.m. tonight in Bellarmine Chapel? It’s like a party! Parties are fun! I want to be invited to one someday...maybe someday...
Saturday
Maybe I can ease into the party scene. I’ll start with a live music concert...like live music at Ryan’s Pub tonight at 9 p.m. Maybe afterwards I’ll share some local beverages with friends.
Perhaps someday I’ll work my way up to a crazy theme party. The craziest theme party would be something like a “Princess Rave” where the girls have to dress up like Princesses, the boys treat the girls like Princesses, and everyone dances like crazy all night long. Too bad there’s nothing like that going on anywhere on or off campus today.
Sunday
Don’t Tell Anna, Xavier’s Premiere Improvisational Comedy Group, will be having a show in Kelley Auditorium.This show is entitled “The Silly Show” because the DTA-ers are promising to be extra silly at the performance tonight! They’re always funny, but this night they’ll be funny and silly! The shows are always free with a money-back guarantee.
Monday
Dear Dr. Smith,
I hope you have enjoyed my column thus far. I would like to inform you that this weekend, I have heard rumors there will be parties at students houses in Norwood.
Since I, too, am anti-fun, I was wondering if you could help me dampen the cheerful spirits of Xavier students. Together, we can crush them. Thank you.
Boy, I sure am glad nobody reads this column!
I feel so free to write whatever nonsense I want to whatever make-believe characters I create.
It’s so much fun to live in a fantasy world! (Much better than this uptight land of reality...)
Tuesday
There will be a Barely Legal Teens Improvisational Comedy show tonight at 9:30 p.m. in Kelley Auditorium. The show is free!
Whatever happened to Alanis Morisette? She was so big for so long...heck she even played God in a film! She was huge! Where did she go? She spoke to my soul.
he made me feel like a strong and powerful woman...just like a good movie on “Lifetime.” Oh, Alanis.
Briana Hansen
Calendar City Editor
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