Life at the Newswire: Part II
Emily Hoferer
Arts & Entertainment Editor
Hello all you faithful readers of the back pages of the Newswire. You should pat yourselves on the back for making it this far. No one ever comes back here.
But here, in Arts and Entertainment (formerly, Diversions) land things are very nice. We make fun of celebrities, not SGA and the only things we really critique are the recent plays and movies.
I should address the name change for all my loyal fans (aka: my roommates). Back in the 1920s Diversions was called the Jester’s Court and then somewhere down the road it became Diversions. Since I haven’t published a puzzle in my entire career here, we renamed it. Well, that and because Pat made the decision and whatever he says goes.
In all seriousness though, it’s good to be back at the Newswire for another year which is sure to be very exciting, considering we’ve already published one “controversial” issue and we’ve managed to make a lot of people angry.
We know the melee is just beginning because Ann Coulter is coming and we personally cannot wait. Some of us like her, some of us don’t, but no matter what we’re sure to be talking about it.
Summer vacation was grand for many people. I spent my time changing diapers until I went to Europe and spent a month with twenty-five other Xavier students in London, England. It was an incredible trip and I cannot wait for my next opportunity to return to the land ruled by Queen Elizabeth II.
Speaking of monarchies, the tyranny of Brian Bowsher has ended and anarchy headed by Pat Stevenson has commenced. Pat has already added his own personal touch to the house by putting in a putting green.
Anyways, there are some changes to the Newswire this year, we have some new staffers joining our ranks including an Editorial Board full of people bursting with opinions. I am anxious to read all of the interesting things that they have to say.
I’ve taken up another occupation other than Arts and Entertainment Editor. I’m the loafer-exterminater. I’m not just talking about a brand of shoes that old men wear. At the Newswire, loafing is the action of inaction. In other words, doing absolutely nothing, wandering around the upstairs and looking at other people’s work over their shoulders.
We’re all a little guilty of loafing sometimes. But the biggest loafer of them all is Jeff McMurray. I’ve already threatened to have him disposed of if he continues to loaf around me. I’ve already cancelled “Unrated,” but he doesn’t know that yet.
Darren LaCour was our token freshman last year and now he’s the editor of the Op-Ed page. It’s touching to see how much he has grown. But realistically, with that facial hair Darren looks like he’s older than all of us. He adds his own brand of humor to everything.
Katie Rosenbaum has replaced Kelly Shaw, who is spending the semester in D.C. rubbing elbows with politicians and learning how to smooze.
The notorious Matt Finger has moved from his Op-Ed desk downstairs to the Land of Women to work with the copy editors, who are doing a great job.
I’m upstairs in the main room with Darren and my BFF (Best Friend Forever) John LaFollette. John is obsessed with getting a coffee machine so he won’t have to hike to Gallagher. Victory Perk is like John’s version of “Cheers,” because everyone there knows his name. Apparently he’s tired of that and just wants to go downstairs and make his own coffee.
Downstairs it’s air conditioned and nice, but up here it’s like we’re a casserole baking in an oven. We seem to always run into climate problems at the Newswire because last winter while it was freezing everywhere in the Pubs house, it was hotter than Tahiti in the main office. We had windows open while it was snowing and we wore T-shirts and tank tops underneath our parkas. This house is just getting too old to remain the same temperature.
Speaking of the house, last year we found out that we would not be moving to a new location yet, just after we punched a hole in the wall with a baseball bat and right before the ceiling caved in on all of our archived Newswire issues.
Hopefully this is the last year in the house. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the space, but when the ceiling caves in I think it’s time to investigate a new space.
We’ve had signs hanging up here for ages and I can’t decide if I should take them down or not because they could either be covering some disgusting hole or the passage to Narnia.
So we’ve been brainstorming about what to do to the house once we get the official, final OK to demolish it. I’m sure Xavier would pay for a bulldozer but I think it would be more fun if we destroyed it ourselves.
Or, we could have some sort of a fundraiser. People could pay $5 for a sledge hammer and 30 minutes to wreak all kinds of havoc in the house. This is a definite win-win situation: Our house gets demoed, we go somewhere new and all those angry people I mentioned before get a healthy release and have some fun.
I still have to maintain my healthy female composure around all of these boys. Sometimes I pretend the jokes are funny, but really I’m crying on the inside. At least today we watched a video of Conan O’Brien, who I adore, and the duck who ate his own feces.
On that note, welcome to a new year of the Newswire. I hope you freshmen didn’t get scared off by last week’s issue. While we are a very funny, sarcastic bunch we really seriously do wish you all the best of luck here at Xavier. They’re all a bunch of boys and don’t want to talk about their feelings.
That’s all from the A&E desk, good luck with the rest of the issue. You’re almost to the end.
Players pass on "Equus"
Emily Hoferer
Arts & Entertainment Editor
xavier.edu/studentlife/players
“Aida” is the first show on the main stage this season.
When I got wind last year of a rumor that the Xavier Players were going to be performing “Equus,” I was thrilled.
Over the summer I made a list of possible and maybe slightly inappropriate leads, some funny play on words and of course I was planning on going to see it myself. I mean, its not everyday that I write an “Onion”-esque article in the April Fool’s edition of the Newswire and then it actually comes true.
Well, not completely true, we’re still without Daniel Radcliffe. It was discussed as a possible option, but the Xavier Players decided to go another way.
Anyways, even if “Equus” is not listed in this year’s line-up, the Xavier Players are sure to have one heck of a season. They are opening in two weeks time with the regional premiere of “Frozen,” a gritty drama about murder and its emotional consequences. The play even stars Xavier alumni.
The Players will then move into October with “Aida.” This play, written by the song-writing powerhouses Elton John and Tim Rice, will be staged October 18-21. This will be something to truly look forward to as the play will include performances by the wonderful Xavier Gospel Choir.
Just as it starts to get cold in Cincinnati, “The Lion in Winter” will come to the Xavier stage November 8-11. If any of you follow your Oscar trivia, you will know that the film version of this play won many accolades in Hollywood. It is sure to be a crowd pleaser.
Just one weekend later, the Xavier Players are embarking on quite an adventurous task, or should I say, a mysterious one? It’s time for some “Original Murder Mystery” as four students will produce a mystery that unfolds right before the audience will act as a collective group of detectives to solve the crime. This is just one of the two new inventive show ideas that you can look forward to this season.
Continuing with a seasonal theater theme, “The Snow Queen” in all of winter glory will take the stage December 6-9. This unique play involves many different types of story telling, including puppets and dancers, telling a wonderous narrative based on the fairy tale of the same name by Hans Christian Anderson.
Returning from Christmas break will mean seeing some real controversy in “Hot ‘N Throbbing,” a more modern play that deals with taboo subjects such as domestic violence and pornography. Some adaptations of the play include nudity, but it remains to be seen whether this will make it into the performance or not.
The subject matter alone is sure to be the topic of many conversations on campus and you will not want to miss out on February 7-10.
The Xavier Players are taking on another exciting but daunting task with Twenty-four Hour Theatre: Workshop “Extras.” This challenge could make good reality TV if anyone wanted to film it. Students receive scripts and are required to stay in the theatre to work on them for the next 24 hours until they perform them on February 23 for a live audience.
Break out the tissues for the next play, “Steel Magnolias”; which has sweet Southern style that is sure to steal your heart. This play about girl power and true friendship even in times of loss and sorrow will induce the warm fuzzies for everyone across campus. The magnolias will bloom March 6-9.
After that, all the next shows are performed entirely by the Xavier students, which is a real treat for wrapping up the year. The first is the annual monologue fest, “Voices for Change,” which takes place April 10-13.
Later that month is the highly anticipated and always well-received “Workshop.”
Last but not least, the year concludes with the annual staple “Toolbox,” which is sure to display a lot of real comedic and improv talent.
While there will be no blind horses, the race this year is sure to be a crowd pleaser. The Newswire will keep all of you up to date with information on upcoming shows, including some reviews and photos.
Stephanie Metz
Arts & Entertainment Editors
Bingo!
It is back already folks — Bingo! Come out this thursday, August 30 at 10 p.m. to the GSC atrium. See if you can win any of the $3,000 worth of prizes. Price is $2 for three game cards.
Get Hypnotized
A hilarious hypnotist will be on campus to entertain the masses at 9 p.m. on Friday, August 31in the GSC. Volunteer to go under his spell or just watch your friends do crazy things. Trust us, you don’t want to miss this.
ISS Welcome Back Picnic
Free food. Shall I say more? The International Student Society welcomes students to join them on the greenspace from 3-6 p.m. on Friday, August 31 for their Welcome Back Picnic. There will be free food, drinks, music and prizes.
Movie on the Levee
Enjoy a free night out at Newport on the Levee sponsored by Weekenders. Buses leave Buenger Circle at 7 p.m. on Saturday, September 1. Students will receive one free movie ticket to see any movie they choose. Buses will return to Xavier at midnight. Sign up in the SGA office located on the second floor of the GSC.
WEBN Fireworks
Like fireworks and fun? Well get on the bus! SAC will be providing buses to take students to the WEBN annual Labor Day fireworks downtown on the riverfront on Sunday, September 2. Buses will leave Buenger at 6 p.m. and will return around 10:15 p.m. This event is free, so get there early to get a seat!
Players Auditions
So, you think you can sing and act? Try out for a part in “AIDA”. Xavier Players will be holding auditions September 5-6 from 7-10 p.m. in the GSC Theatre. There are lots of great parts available!
