Wednesday
Have you ever been walking calmly and quietly some beautiful morning when you notice a car just sitting by the roadside?
Have you ever noticed the car was on and the keys were still in the ignition yet there was nobody in it?
Have you ever looked at said car and realized how easy it would be to just steal it?
Have you ever then questioned why you were wanting to steal the car when you have a perfectly good one functioning just a few feet away?
Have you ever, while staring at the running car, known that you don’t even need a car to reach the destination you’re headed to?
Have you ever then wondered where this desire to steal said car came from when you’ve never stolen anything before in your life and know deep down there’s nothing special about this particular car except that it would be so easy to just hop in and steal?
Have you ever wondered if and for how long you could get away with such a senseless act?
Have you?!
Yeah, me neither.
“Women’s Week,” creatively called “Chicks in Charge” continues to empower and challenge women to become much more than stereotypes throughout this week. At 7 p.m. tonight in the Clocktower Lounge, a particularly powerful event called “Girls Night” will provide fun and games, including Pretty Pretty Princess! How totally rad!
Thursday
There’s always so much going on Thursdays. Since I am very diligent, and happen to feel like writing something of “substance,” here’s some shiz you can attend:
The movie “Black Gold,” which is about the coffee industry, will be playing at 6:30 p.m. in GSC 214.
The event “Rock the Chapel” will take place at 9 p.m. in Bellarmine Chapel, as opposed to those other famous chapels on campus. There are just so many.
The Late Night Snack featuring BW3’s will take place in GSC food court at 10 p.m.
The movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” will show in the GSC Theater at 11 p.m.
Friday
Something rather bizarre happened to me the other day and I can’t quite make sense of it.
First, allow me to explain myself...
I have a high tolerance for many living conditions. I like to think of myself as a reasonable person who can put up with many inconveniences. There’s very little that can cause me to be really upset with some aspect of my living conditions.
For example, if I’m going to wash my hands after using the restroom, only to find there’s no soap in any of the dispensers, I shrug it off and use a little anti-bacterial.
Or, if I’m in a public restroom and none of the stalls have been flushed after usage and look as though everyone who came before me had too much Indian food, I simply hold my beath and flush one for use.
Now, allow me to explain what happened...
I was in a public restroom in a very popular campus spot, when something struck my eye that I had never seen before. Atop the toilet paper dispenser, there were two small travel-sized containers of lavender-smelling baby wipes.
Now, imagine that. Two lavender-scented baby wipes in a regular stall in a very common campus area. Why? Why were they there? What could they possibly be used for? Why hadn’t the person thrown them away? What the heck?
Saturday
I realize I’m on a new column now and should probably be talking about things pertaining to Saturday, but I’m still trying to work out my confusion as to why there were baby wipes in the restroom.
They weren’t even on the sink! There wasn’t even a spot to change a baby! Are there toddlers wandering around campus using wipes during the big-kid-pull-up training pants stage?
If there really are little ones wandering around, where are they and could they do my history homework for me? I don’t want to do it and I hear youth are getting smarter by the generation.
Pwetty pwease, little ones?
Sunday
Since I was still rambling during Saturday’s space, allow me to tell you in this space what you may wish to do on Saturday.
There was a Community Action Day yesterday that began at 9 a.m. in the GSC food court.
There are probably other things you missed on Saturday, too.
I suggest you look for those things sometime before Sunday. Otherwise, you’ll be too late.
Monday
At 9 p.m. tonight in the GSC food court, comedian Tracy Ashley will be performing.
I’m not so certain, however, that I want her in Gallagher. You see, she’s very closely linked to the conspirators that have created and supported this supposed theory about “global warming.”
Allow me to explain.
You see, Tracy shares a name with SNL comedian Tracy Morgan, whose last name is the same as the famous robberbaron, J.P. Morgan.
Morgan begins with an M and so does Maybelline, the famous makeup brand. Maybelline has a famous brand saying “Maybe it’s Maybelline,” which is a question turned into a statement.
“Al Gore invented the Internet” is also a statement. Al Gore is featured and inspired the film, “An Incoveneint Truth,” which dealt with global warming.
Clearly, it’s a conspiracy.
Tuesday
At 11 a.m. today in the Conaton Board Room, the Court of Appeals will be hearing two cases.
I received that information from two sources. 1. The University Calendar, 2. Albert, the fairy man who lives in my dreams and occasionally imparts prophetic information. He wears a pirate shirt and leiderhousen, and only communicates by singing famous Italian operas.
He is my favorite fairy man in all of fairy land. Who’s yours?
Briana Hansen
Calendar City Editor
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