Published since 1915 by the students
of Xavier University
A lengthy show for ‘The Departed’
Emily Hoferer
Diversions Editor
For me, the Oscars are like the Super Bowl. It’s a battle of talents, and analysts will try to determine months before the showdown who will win the ultimate prize. So for me, a play-by-play of the Oscars is essential. And, thanks to my handy journalistic skills, even if you didn’t catch the telecast, you will know every memorable moment.
8:07 p.m.— Unfortunately we have to sit through 30 minutes of red carpet arrivals. I don’t mind too much, but I feel like it’s all redundant information. But at this moment, Steve Carrell informs us that his co-star in “Little Miss Sunshine,” Greg Kinnear, has horrible body odor. See, you learn something new every day.
8:19 p.m.— Ryan Gosling is so incredibly adorable it’s not even fathomable. But here’s a question: where is Rachel McAdams? Last time I checked they were together, but he’s at the show with his mom and sister.
8:32 p.m.— This video segment of the nominated actors reminds me of the commercial for the One organization, which is all about AIDS. This is not about AIDS; it’s just about what it’s like to be nominated for an Academy Award.
8:43 p.m.— Ellen DeGeneres has the first great quote of the Oscars. As she describes how globalized the Oscars have become, she quips, “If there were no blacks, Jews or gays, there would be no Oscars.”
8:46 p.m.— After “Pan’s Labyrinth” wins the first Oscar of the night, Maggie Gyllenhall walks onstage to give a brief synopsis of the Academy’s technical Oscar awards, which they award to people in the film industry who make huge leaps in technological advancements. Personally, I think it’s cruel of the Academy to tempt these nerds with beautiful women that they could never win over in real life.
8:49 p.m.— Gymnastics at the Oscars! They really are trying to keep the show more entertaining this year. We learn later that this is actually a dance troupe and they are very good. Different, but good.
8:55 p.m— Will Ferrell, Jack Black and John C. Reilly may have nabbed the award for “Funniest Oscar Moment.” Their song and dance number about the Academy overlooking comedians was hysterical, as were their jabs at the serious actors in the audience. But Will Ferrell is no dummy and he knew where to draw the line as he called out “Mark Wahlberg! Where are you? I won’t mess with you, you’re actually kinda bad-ass. Once again, I hope we’re cool, you are very talented.” Mark Wahlberg nodded his head in agreement.
9:04 p.m— I know that short films are important to recognize at the Oscars, but they just panned to Jack Nicholson and he has no hair!
9:20 p.m.— Alan Arkin wins the first acting award for his supporting performance in “Little Miss Sunshine.” I guess Marky Mark is going home empty handed as far as awards are concerned.
9:40 p.m— The Academy acknowledges that they love the planet. This is not shocking at all, since we know that Hollywood is composed of two types of people: liberals and Clint Eastwood.
10:04 p.m.— Tom Cruise appears in public?!
10:10 p.m— Ellen takes her picture with Clint Eastwood, and, like everyone else’s pictures these days, it will go up on MySpace, not Facebook. But if you ask my uncle Richard, who can’t keep either of those straight, it would go on Ellen’s “Space-book.”
10:35 p.m.— Jennifer Hudson wins for “Dreamgirls.” This is not shocking at all, so I’m moving on.
10:44 p.m.— Jerry Seinfeld comes out and does a great mini-monologue on how the movie theaters are ripping off average Americans, and therefore we should not be required to pick up our trash after the movie. Well said, Jerry. He delivers his prize to “An Inconvient Truth” for best documentary. More people talk about loving Al Gore and I’m starting to get bored.
10:57 p.m.— Celine Dion gets away from Vegas to sing a tribute to composer Ennio Morricone. Personally, I think she should have stayed in Vegas and let someone with real singing ability, like Josh Groban, come and perform.
11:37 p.m.— We’ve been watching the telecast for a little over three hours now, and we still have the big acting awards and the best picture and best director to get to. I’m starting to get antsy. And if you’re keeping score at home, “The Departed” and “Little Miss Sunshine” have picked up the writing awards.
12:00 a.m.— Helen Mirren wins for “The Queen” and it’s now midnight. They really need to hurry up, I still have homework to do. They keep alluding to the fact that the best director category is coming up. Scorcese better win!
12:06 a.m.— George Lucas, Steven Speilberg and Francis Ford Coppola come onstage to present the award for best director. Scorcese better win!
12:07 a.m— Finally! The day has come for Martin Scorcese, as he wins his first ever Oscar. Naturally, he gets a standing ovation from the crowd. That man is a filmmaking genius, and I know I should be taking in this truly historic moment in cinema, but that man has the bushiest eyebrows I’ve ever seen!
12:13 a.m.— I have no idea who is going to win for best picture, which is the last category, obviously. I just want it to be over.
12:14 a.m.— “The Departed” wins! I’m sort of shocked because even though I loved the movie, I honestly thought that “Little Miss Sunshine” was going to take home the top award. But, as Will Ferrell alluded to earlier, comedy and the Oscars usually never mix.
Well, it was truly a memorable night. Ellen did a fine job hosting, and there were plenty of laughs in this marathon of an awards ceremony. Hopefully next year it will return with its fun-loving spirit, just in a shorter format.
A smooth “Ghost” ride
Brandy Williams
Asst. Diversions Editor
The movie “Ghost Rider,” based on the “Marvel” comic strip character Johnny Blaze, played by Nicolas Cage, is about a motorcycle stuntman who makes a deal with Satan, portayed evilly by Peter Fonda, to save his father from cancer. What Blaze doesn’t know is that he has just sold his soul to Satan. Blaze is sent on a mission to be Satan’s bounty hunter and to destroy the evil fallen angels that are hiding in the elements.
Part of Blaze’s curse is that at night he turns into a blazing skeleton with a chain, a sweet fiery bike and a stare that makes a guilty soul reap its sins. We are thrust into action-packed performances by Blaze in an attempt to face his immortality. Blaze’s entourage constantly begs him to be a “safe” daredevil, but he seems to be living in a carefree state only engrossed in finding a way out of his pact with the devil.
During the stunt devil’s latest life threatening jump to clear several moving helicopters, trucks and cars, he bumps into his old teenage love, reporter Roxanne (played by Eva Mendes) as she attempts to get the juicy story about Blaze. The flame between the two is quickly rekindled and the story takes on a romantic plot as well. When Blaze’s evil enemies discover his weakness, his love for Roxanne, he is forced to choose love over his soul.
Nicolas Cage’s performce in this movie was pretty good. It certainly wasn’t his best performance, but I think this may have been due to his character. There’s only so much that a superstar actor can do in a movie about a comic strip character. Eva Mendes’ performance was strikingly similar to that of her charcater’s performance in “Hitch,” where she also played a reporter. Her roles in both is the love interest of the subject of her hot stories, who is also the main character. She apparently does not know that her new love is leading a secret life.
The movie, although at times predictable, kept the audience intrigued with the amazing stunts and supernatural powers the characters expelled throughout the movie.
The rating was PG:13 because, in addition to some very cool stunts, it also featured very gruesome depictions of scary angels and lost souls. Oh, and let’s not forget killing by sucking the breath out of innocent bystanders. So, be advised: please don’t take anyone under 13 to this movie unless you want to stay up with them all night explaining why angels won’t come and steal their soul.
The stunts, cinematography and special effects were pretty awesome and will probably be up for some awards at the next Oscars. If you’re down to your last $8, I’d suggest that you wait until the movie comes to DVD, but if you’re a comic book enthusiast or just love watching fiery stunt devils ride their motorcycles down skyscrapers and beat the crap out of evil, this might be worth the splurge.
Overall, “Ghost Rider” is a pretty good movie, although predictable, and is definitely worth seeing the action!
The Report on Colbert
Patrick Stevenson
Asst. Op-Ed Editor
On Monday, Feb. 26, my esteemed colleague Matthew Finger and I visited New York City, ostensibly to attend a journalism workshop at the New York Times. The workshop was highly informative, but it served the more important function of being a solid excuse to go see a taping of “The Colbert Report.”
Since the taping was scheduled for 7 p.m. we arrived at Colbert Headquarters at 4:55 p.m. to get in the audience line, which had roughly 60 people in it when we arrived. While we had reserved our tickets in advance, seating at the Colbert Report is general admission, so naturally people wanted to show up early to get as close to the set as possible.
We waited in line for about an hour, at which point we were instructed to pass through a metal detector and enter the lobby outside the studio. We waited around for a few minutes before an intern explained the seating procedure and finally ushered us to our seats in the studio audience.
The first thing that struck me about the studio was that it is much smaller than I had imagined. Before, when I watched the Colbert Report on television, I had assumed that the studio was like a small auditorium with seating for 300 people. Turns out the studio is really quite cozy, and there are only 100 seats for audience members.
The technical equipment was relatively minimal consisting of five cameras, several lights and a rather makeshift production booth. Shortly after everyone was seated in the audience, a local comic came out and did his routine to warm up the crowd for Colbert.
The (completely bald) comic, after performing for 20 minutes and telling me that he wanted “to punch my hair off,” introduced Colbert, who excitedly ran into the studio to loud music and high-fived audience members.
The most interesting part of the experience was when Colbert answered questions as Stephen Colbert the normal guy, rather than the puffed-up satirical pundit. He answered questions such as “Who have been responsible for more deaths, the Kennedys or bears?” in a surprisingly normal fashion, sometimes poking fun at the obsessive fans.
After the Q&A, peppy punk-pop was piped in over the speakers to keep everyone excited, and Colbert energetically proceeded to his desk. The energy and excitement in the studio was palpable, and even the veteran crew members were clearly pumped.
Finally, the stage manager counted down and the show began. They filmed each seven minute segment separately, with a five or six minute break in between. To my surprise, they filmed the entire show in one take, which was extremely impressive.
As a Colbert aficionado, I usually find the show exciting and engrossing, but the experience of watching the show in my bedroom doesn’t even come close to measuring up to the atmosphere and environment of watching the show being taped live.
Fridge Note
Ryan Nemeth
Contributing Writer
Emily Hoferer 
Diversions Editor
Womens Chorus
Performance
Support Xavier’s womens chorus while treating your ears to their beautiful voices at their “Music at Midday” concert at 12:30 p.m. on Thursday, March 1 in Bellarmine Chapel right after Mass. The chorus will sing music from America, England and Africa.
The concert would be an excellent way to spend your lunch break.
Author to speak at Xavier
Rick Sowash, composer and author, will be speaking at 7 p.m. on Thursday, March 1 in the Worldviews Lounge on the 10th floor of Schott. He will be speaking about his adventures, humorous incidents and fascinating French origins of familiar American words. He will also talk about French history , arts and much more! There will be wine and refreshments as well as an iPod shuffle door drize.
Are you disaster ready ?
Come find out if you have what it takes to survive a disaster. Attend the safety series to find out what you can do from 12-12:50 p.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 28. The program will cover what to do in a disaster in your home or work and information about the potential threat of a pandemic. There will also be Q & A for medical- and health-related questions. Bring your lunch; dessert will be served.
Industrial farming
Interested in increasing consumer awareness about industrial farming practices and sustainable agriculture? Join the physics department at 5 p.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 28 in Lindner,103 as Jennifer Curran gives a presentation about the ecological costs of nourishing and sustaining our bodies.
