Published since 1915 by the students
of Xavier University
Mr. Muskie: up close and personal
Emily Hoferer
Diversions Editor
It arrives like clockwork every year - the event that tests endurance, charisma, talent and the strength of one’s gag reflex.
The annual Mr. Muskie competition took place on Monday, Feb. 19 in the GSC Theatre. The all-male competition is a trademark event at Xavier, and this year was memorable indeed.
After the first three rounds, the field is narrowed down to four and the remaining contestants answer questions that determine whether or not they win the coveted prize.
The formal wear competition went relatively smoothly, minus junior Matt Finger’s fake chest falling out. The talent competition was where the contestants truly began to show their strengths.
Speaking of strength, senior Joe Moorman has a lot of it. His talent included him bench pressing two women while wearing a full-body spandex suit. Another contestant with strength, or at least a lot of endurance, was junior Ray O’Brien, who had quite possibly the most creative talent. He passed out bats to lucky audience volunteers and they got to beat the living daylights out of him for a short period of time.
Sophomore Kyle Hughes lit up the stage floor with his creative dance moves. He started off with the early 90s dance craze, known as “the Carlton,” and transitioned into a more modern dance sequence that impressed everyone.
No one really knows what went on when senior Mark Neyer showed his talent of wrestling imaginary friends and dead presidents. Sophomore Matt O’Reilly performed a parody of “Addicted to Love” that was all about chemistry, complete with guitar accompaniment.
Singing was also a talent of sophomore and TV personality RJ Theineman, who showcased his love for African entertainment by performing “The Circle of Life,” complete with a cast of “animals” in the background that mysteriously resembled the cast of “Time Well Spent.”
Theineman’s archrival, Finger, was the final act. He also dabbled in some culture, as he taught the audience simple, everyday used Spanish phrases, complete with pictures of kitties, kiwis, squirrels, dogs, babies and his roommates.
Throughout the show, junior hosts Alyssa Deutsch and Joe Welling communicated with their backstage correspondents, sophomores Gina Lieser and Katy Baldwin. They were firing off questions to the contestants from “behind enemy lines.” These two girls really got to the heart of things, but the audience mostly learned about Moorman’s love for horses.
Next up was the much anticipated “What would you do to be Mr. Muskie?” segment. Contestants picked their task out of a bucket and had to do whatever was written on their paper. Most of these tasks tested the strength of one’s stomach. Moorman licked a toilet seat, Hughes had to lick hot sauce off senior SGA president Steve Bentley’s stomach and O’Brien had to drink a disgusting concoction (which was unsuccessful, much to the audience’s dismay) and gave the worst advertisement for Betta’s Italian Oven ever. O’Rielly had to drink six strawberry pediatric shakes, and Finger had to drink water out of Deutsch’s boot that she had been wearing all day with no socks on.
Physical strength was also tested, as Neyer had to face off with ROTC junior Matthew Leck in a push-up contest. Theineman’s pain tolerance was called into question when both of his armpits were waxed simultaneously on stage.
After the exhausting round, which resulted in more than one contestant becoming physically ill, the final four was announced. Moorman, Finger, Hughes and O’Reilly were selected and given the two final questions that determined their fate. After the serious question of which class has affected them the most, the contestants were asked what piece of furniture they would be and why.
Kyle Hughes was crowned Mr. Muskie, with Joe Moorman as runner up and Matt Finger as second runner up. It was Hughes’s second year of competition, and the crown was well-deserved for the charismatic Californian.
Plenty of laughs were provided by the hosts, correspondents and contestants as Mr. Muskie had its usual lighthearted tone. One noticeable thing about the competition was that the freshmen were not present at all, which was a change from past years.
We look forward to next year when hopefully Mr. Muskie will be a great competition, only with far less puking.
Quality pants and tones
Brandy Williams
Asst. Diversions Editor
Brilliant, unique, funny and bearing a strange imitation of life sums up the qualities of the amusing play by Alice Gerstenberg, entitled “Overtones.” The Xavier Players featured a double play of the “Overtones” and “Bert’s Golf Pants” for a student’s budget; two plays for the price of one.
The casting directors chose a great cast for the four cast member play, “Overtones,” which is about Harriet (played by junior April Sauline), a conservative socialite who “married up” into society and is battling her inner wild and devious alter personality, Hetty, portrayed by junior Rosie Swan. The plot thickens when she is to have tea with Margaret, the wife of her teenage sweetheart, for whom she still has unrequited feelings.
When Margaret arrives, the audience learns that she is also battling an alter ego by the name of Maggie, played by junior Stephanie Renny. Margaret must put on a sophisticated mask as she attempts to inconspicuously convince the wealthy Harriet to commission her husband to paint her portrait, because her artist husband is in desperate need of work.
What the women do not know is that the other woman is playing out a scheme that is only revealed to us by their alter egos. While Margaret is desperately trying to convince Harriet to get a portrait done, Harriet desperately wants to get a painting done by Margaret’s husband, but she doesn’t want Margaret to know that she is desperate for, because she is attempting to steal her love back.
It is absolutely hilarious to watch each woman pretend to be happy with their lives and outdo each other in living up to the status quo, while neither is actually satisfied with their lives. Their alter egos do not let this go unnoticed.
“Bert’s Golf Pants” depicted issues in many dysfunctional families. Bert, played by junior Tim Short, is getting dressed for his daughter’s wedding and decides that he wants to wear his favorite pair of pants, his golf pants. His wife Marion, played by April Sauline, begins ranting about why he should take off those pants.
This play featured a four member cast as well, and although the audience may have suffered from diminishing returns from “Overtones,” this play handled itself well. It danced around several controversial issues such as the son, Greg, who spends all his time on the computer, which causes his dad to think he is viewing pornography.
The overprotective mother defends Greg from Bert and the issue that Greg may be gay. There is the daughter, Fiona, who is experiencing separation anxiety from her newborn baby and periodically bursts into tears proclaiming that “it’s the hormones,” which causes her to “leak” into her shirt because she left her nursing pads at home.
This play is loaded with adult content and leaves the audience with a lot of unfinished business because we are introduced to a lot of issues, but it never reach es any conclusions. Overall, it was a tough play and the cast pulled it off nicely.
UNRATED! With Jeff McMurray
Jeff McMurray
Contributing Writer
As the 2007 Grammys have come and gone, there still remains a lot to be said about the music business of today. So I give to you the good and bad of the music world.
Good: The regrouping of The Police and Rage Against the Machine to tour this upcoming year. RAtM is lined up to play at Coachella Fest while The Police are scheduled to tour this summer.
Bad: Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco.
They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo.
Need I say more?
Good: The new albums by The Shins and Albert Hammond, Jr. The Shins have completely expanded their musical sound and it is a refreshing change from their last album. I believe this is one of the best albums this year. Albert Hammond, Jr. took a break from The Strokes to record this solo venture. It is a solid album that unfortunately took until now to come out in America.
Bad: The new Fall Out Boy album. I feel that if you are a guy and wear makeup, nothing you produce can be good.
Good: The simple fact that the 2007 Ozzfest will be free to the public. Now I don’t plan on going to Ozzfest but the fact that it’s free speaks volumes to the character of Ozzy Osborne. The man might cuss every two words, but he knows what the people love.
Bad: Justin Timberlake and his cause to bring sexy back, and basically everything else he does.
Good: Music from England. First they gave us The Beatles, U2 and Oasis and now they are giving us The Kooks, Arctic Monkeys and The Fratellis. All three of these bands are high in energy and equipped with the musical talent to dominate the music scene in years to come.
Bad: Panic! at the Disco. See what I said about Fall Out Boy if you are confused on why this band is bad for the music world. Plus the only good thing to come from Nevada is the legalization of gambling and prostitution.
Good: The quirky yet musically diverse Of Montreal and TV on the Radio. These bands show that it is OK not to conform to what the masses want. Both do what they want musically and produce some of the best songs of our generation. If you want proof, listen to “Wolf Like Me” by TV on the Radio and “I Was a Landscape in Your Dream” by Of Montreal.
Bad: American Idol. I have heard one too many “dawgs” and “boys” to enjoy this anymore. Instead of being a celebration of the musical talents of America, it has become a parade of talentless people and the sad state of this country. Then again, a parade of talentless people defines most of the artists on Billboards Top 100. Also, the continual bleaching of Ryan Seacrest has made him completely brain dead.
That’s all for this week. I’m off to get tickets to “The Half Hour News Hour.”
Emily Hoferer 
Diversions Editor
“When The
Levees Broke”
Join BSA and College Democrats at 7 p.m. on Thursday, Feb. 22 in Kelley Auditorium for an interesting movie viewing and discussion of “When the Levees Broke,” a documentary by Spike Lee that covers the events and controversy surrounding Hurricane Katrina and the destruction of New Orleans.
There will also be free food.
Party Walk
competition
Join the party! Xavier’s Black Greek Council will host the Party Walk Competition at 7 p.m on Saturday, Feb. 24 in Kelley Auditorium. This event costs $3 for Greeks and $5 for non-Greeks. It promises to be loads of fun and maybe you can even pick up a few moves.
Game night
Love playing games? Bacchus is presenting a Scattegories tournament from 8-11 p.m. on Feb. 24 in GSC, room 322. Come for free food and the chance to win a $75 gift card to Circuit City, a $50 gift card to Target or a $25 gift card to Meijer. Sign up by Friday, Feb. 23 in GSC, room 332. The cost is only $1.
Hunger banquet
Support a good cause while eating some delicious food at 4:45 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 25 in the Clocktower Lounge. The proceeds for this event will help send the Alternative Break volunteers to Ukraine. The cost is $4.
The “Boondocks”
As a part of the Black History Month Celebration on Monday, Feb. 26,
BSA will be dissecting the “Boondocks” show. Come discover the true meaning behind the show and comic strip. Look for signs announcing the time and location.
