Published since 1915 by the students
of Xavier University
Published since 1915 by the students
of Xavier University
— STAFF EDITORIAL —
Attention all entrepreneurs and aspiring self-made millionaires: Xavier University is a gold mine of potential.
As returning students will tell you, and as freshman are soon to find out, the hours of operation of the already limited on-campus dining locations are far more similar to the downtown Fifth Third branch than the neighborhood 7-11.
The James E. Hoff Student Dining Hall closes promptly at 7:30 p.m. every night, and Burger King and Iggy’s Pizza in the Gallagher Center shut down shortly thereafter.
The Pub provides some relief for late night hunger, but even it stops serving food at 10, which leaves Subway, open until 1 a.m., as the only option for students seeking to satisfy their late-night appetites on campus.
Let’s face the truth: college students don’t operate on a traditional living schedule. When you live at home, eating bowl of ice cream at 4 p.m. is considered spoiling your dinner. At college, eating a bowl of ice-cream at 4 p.m. is dinner.
And just because we grew up having dinner between 5 and 7 p.m. doesn’t necessarily mean that we will always abide by those conventions. No where is this phenomenon more apparent than the open till 2 a.m. Taco Bell drive thru.
Now, no one is saying Subway isn’t great and all, and we’re certainly glad to have it, but unless you’re on the Jared Fogle diet, you probably don’t want to eat it seven days a week.
When you’re talking about meatball subs, moderation is key, and late night options are essential.
So that’s where you come in, Mr. and Mrs. Soon-to-be Moneybags. Imagine a campus with a Jersey Mike’s, Skyline, or Big Kahuna Burger within walking distance of the dorms AND open at midnight.
Think of how XU undergrads pack the Hyde Park Chipotle at all hours of the day, and then picture a Mexican grill on Herald Ave. Envision the inebriated kids looking to cure their case of the munchies at 1 a.m. All of these images add up to one thing: easy money in your pocket.
As with Iowa cornfield ballparks and dead people, if you build it, they will come.
And for all of this shrewd financial advice, the Newswire asks for nothing in return.
We simply desire the opportunity to stop off for some tasty chicken after another hard Tuesday of work at the Publications House.
It’s just further proof of our desire to serve our Xavier community.
So there you go, you’re on the fast track to complete financial independence. Trust us when we say that you will not make more money with less effort unless you are Isiah Thomas.
People will come.
They’ll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and food they lack.
And they’ll eat their meal and it will be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The taste will be so flavorsome they’ll have to brush it away from their tongues.
Oh... people will come. People will most definitely come.
Handy tips for surviving year one
Pat Stevenson
Asst. Op-Ed Editor
One of the most time honored traditions in college is making a multitude of mistakes during your freshman year.
I was once a freshman who made more than my fair share of mistakes, and I think it is only reasonable that I share some of the wisdom that several of my friends and I have gleaned from past experience.
DON’T pay five dollars for a cup of keg beer in one of the basement dungeons on Dana Ave. You will never respect yourself again if you do.
DO play intramural sports. There is no better way to form a lasting friendship than by drawing up flag football plays with a teammate in the back of your ethics class.
DON’T play an excessive amount of video games. I am convinced that almost as many people lose their scholarships due to too much Halo as they do to too much Heineken.
DO watch what you eat at the cafeteria. They would deep fry Coke and serve it to you if that were possible. Let’s just say they aren’t looking out for your waistline.
DON’T hook up in a random bedroom at a random house party. I know this may be a shocking revelation to some out there, but hosts of house parties do not appreciate finding strangers copulating in their beds.
DO pour cold water on someone taking a shower. It’s funny to hear them scream.
DON’T antagonize your roommate. Keep in mind that whenever you are not in the room, all of your personal hygiene products are at their mercy.
DO venture onto the roof of Kuhlman dormitory if you ever have the chance. The view is magnificent.
DON’T drink excessively on weeknights, unless you really have your heart set on being in the class of 2011.
DO dress up and go out on Halloween. Halloween weekend is unequivocally the best party weekend at our fine institution. Furthermore…
DON’T go as a “drunk college student” on Halloween. It is rather lonely being the only person who thinks they are too cool to wear a costume to a costume party.
DO make sure you engage in at least one snowball fight, preferably one of the massive ones that could pass for an Iraqi insurgency.
DON’T let people know that you are a freshman if you are at an upperclassmen party. This could result in waking up in your shower in the morning and being unable to locate your pants.
DO shop around for textbooks. There are better options than wildly overpaying at our lovely campus bookstore for books that you may or may not use.
DON’T pay too much attention to upperclassmen’s wistful recollections of Soupies.
DO strike up conversation with people you don’t know on the shuttle. The shuttle is no place to be shy.
DON’T be the person who always has melodramatic conversations with their high school sweetheart in the hallway outside their room.
DO write in to the Newswire. Our readers are beautiful, intelligent people who date people who write letters to the editor.
DON’T stay in to study on a Friday or Saturday night. You won’t study efficiently and your stress levels will rise at an alarming rate.
DO call your parents every now and then, especially if they are paying for your tuition.
DON’T base your class selection on the ease of the professor. It is almost always worth the extra work to take a good class instead of an easy class that you don’t learn anything in.
DO try to get a reasonable amount of sleep. Life is much more interesting when you aren’t a zombie.
DON’T sit around and do nothing. College is meant to be experienced firsthand. Enjoy yourself and make as many memories as you can.
Drunken haze and being a study robot is the key to a positive freshman experience. Good luck on your quest.
Why being a freshman is totally sweet
Matthew Finger
Op-Ed Editor
So this is college. Is it everything you thought it would be? Well, this is only the beginning. Do you realize how sweet it is to be a freshman?
It’s probably the greatest social ranking in the history of man. The seniors are jealous, I promise.
Now I know you’re thinking, “Matt, please stop being a crazy mother and start telling the truth.” But, my innocent little underlings, I’m not lying.
As a freshman you hold the world at your fingertips, especially at Xavier. Let’s ponder this, shall we?
First off: Manresa, fan-freaking-tastic. People in matching shirts are carrying your 150 pound mini-fridge and 400 pound box of shoes up the stairs to the sixth floor of Kuhlman Hall, and singing all the while.
Yes, as you sit back and survey your new kingdom full of happy peasants who strive only to do your bidding, one can’t help but feel like Samuel L. Jackson after just defeating an entire plane full of poisonous snakes from all over the world.
Step two: your new roommate. Randomly assigned, this equally powerful new member of Xavier’s community seems at first a threat.
But once examined further, you realize (and so does he/she) that your cubicle-sized living space is actually the center of the universe, not to mention the university.
You momentarily slip into a daydream about all of the other, less cool, freshmen that will flock to your quarters hoping only for a glance at your awesomely decorated space-saver and Target-esque cotton sheets. Lucky them.
Moving right along we reach your roommate’s slightly younger sibling. This soon-to-be freshman is, naturally, off limits. So of course it is more than necessary for you to attain them.
Fortunately, someone invented facebook and then opened it up to high schools. Yes, having a fling with your roommate’s sister, who for our purposes we will call Caitlin, is morally wrong and will most likely tear you and your newfound ally apart. But, let’s face it, Caitlin is worth it.
Of course being a freshman isn’t all fun and games and Caitlin. Eventually she has to go back to high school and you have to go to class.
This brings me to my next point: being a freshman. Simply being at the bottom of the barrel is amazing. You can blame anything on being a freshman: “Sorry mom and dad, I failed Spanish because I had a hard time transitioning.”
“I have a slight drinking problem and a severe smoking problem because I got caught up with the wrong crowd and, being a freshman, I’m young and impressionable.”
Then there’s the classic, “I know, guys, but I was drunk and she was my freshman mistake.”
If only in the real world you could say, “Sorry boss, I didn’t come to work yesterday because I was making a freshman mistake.”
In conclusion, I would like to take this opportunity to say that everything I just wrote is complete fiction, with the exception of Snakes on a Plane being awesome.
Being a freshman will drain your soul. Not only is your roommate going to be the most annoying person on the planet, but their sister is going to be completely uninterested.
Manresa gets old and you have to carry most of your junk up the stairs anyway. Chances are if you blame something on a freshman mistake, you were the mistake.
Worst of all, you have to develop your social environment, i.e. you have to find where the beer is because you have no idea.
There is NO MORE SOUPIES. That means there is an entire generation of children out there who will not have the chance to be a Soupies baby.
Yes, being a freshman right now could possibly be the worst social ranking in the history of man, at least since last year’s freshmen.
luck. And don’t worry, at least you’re not going to Dayton.
Matthew Finger
Op-Ed Editor
In 2000, Dr. Tim White of the department of political science and his wife Mary Visconti launched a new program at Xavier University. Six years and dozens of students later, White’s study abroad program to Ireland has gained a sterling reputation among participants and the curious eye of prospective partakers.
Unlike many classes abroad, White’s sociology course on the modern Irish identity is not taught at a host university, but rather in a host nation. Spanning two weeks per session, groups of about 10 students travel throughout much of the republic of Ireland, experiencing cultural differences and similarities along the way.
Large cities such as Dublin, Galway and Waterford are meshed with more traditional Irish customs found in small towns like Bansha in County Tipperary and Inis Meáin, one of the Aran Islands.
The course is taught on the road, combining materials read before the start of the adventure, student experience and White’s charismatic expertise. Without realizing it, the students gain a tremendous amount of sociological and historical knowledge about Ireland, past and present.
Not only do the students cover set course materials, but they are exposed to an outside culture, which in many cases is very different from their own. Traditional Irish music, storytelling and thatching are just a few of the services that Galway resident Gerry Joyce provides. Irish National Ballet veteran Roy Galvin exposes the group to Irish line dancing (in which the students participate), language and poetry.
English professor Dr. Graley Herren also plays an essential role in the development of the student’s knowledge of Ireland, adding a strong cultural and scholastic element to the once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Herren teaches a course on Irish literature. The students study classic works of Irish drama such as Riders to the Sea and Kathleen Ni Houlihan, experience a live Irish play, visit W.B. Yeats’ residence and much more.
Together, White and Herren present the opportunity for Xavier students to travel through one of the most culturally, historically and aesthetically rich places in the world, while still maintaining an academic standard, for which the students receive six Xavier credits upon completion of the post-journey work.
More important than a letter grade, the students take away from their trip two weeks of world experience, knowledge and self-discovery.
But don’t take my word, even though I’ve been on the trip. Take the students.
In their anonymous e valuations, comments of enjoyment, appreciation and general excitement are passionately expressed.
“This is, by far, my best and favorite experience through Xavier,” wrote one participant. Another proclaims that they “could not have asked for a better learning experience.”
that they “learned a lot more about Ireland visiting it and experiencing the culture than I ever would just reading about it.”
These are just small samples of the tremendous respect and admiration the students have toward the program. Part of this respect spawns from the responsibility that White, Herren and Visconti assume for their students.
“The experience is one of the most fulfilling things I have done,” says Junior Ben Hewett. “I learned a lot. I’ll never forget it.
White and Herren are comparable to friends and mentors teaching their attentive learners about the world, rather than two professors doing their job. It is this sense of sincere interest in the outcome of the student’s experience that makes it truly special.
In the future, two sessions will be offered during the summer term. Both involve White’s sociology course and one includes Herren’s Irish literature course (which recently has begun to include Irish music), while the other adds a course on Ireland’s ecosystem, taught by biology professor Dr. George Farnsworth.
This program is, as previously mentioned, one of Xavier’s most worthwhile experiences. Few programs are able to offer the experience of studying abroad, the teaching power of a brilliant faculty and a genuinely good time like Xavier’s study abroad program to Ireland.
Matthew Finger
Op-Ed Editor
Sniff sniff. What’s that I smell? Freshmen (and women)? Ah ha!
Well, let me be the 9 millionth person to welcome you to Xavier, since I am sure that the hoards of staffers trying to get you to spend money in the bookstore and buy bed buddies and crap have already welcomed you.
I am your friendly campus moral officer. My job is to let you know what I, and occasionally what my assistant, think.
But more importantly this lovely Opinions and Editorials page is here for you. If you have an opinion about something, anything at all, and your roommate is tired of hearing you whine and moan about it, send your buddy Finger an e-mail and we’ll bother the whole campus!
It’s fun, I promise. So, next time the Burger King lady gives you chicken nuggets when you ordered fries, and yells “You get what I give you!” as a response to you concern, let me know about it.
She probably doesn’t read the Newswire, but the rest of campus will know to look out for the she-devil who wants it HER way.
The E-Mail address is Newswire-Oped@xavier.edu. My assistant, Pat Stevenson, and I are excited to hear about all of your petty problems, and maybe some big ones.
Pat is going to be in charge of Mall Talk, a weekly survey of students on the academic mall and green space.
So if you see him comming at you with a camera and a clipboard, don’t run away. It hurts his feelings.
We hope to hear your complaints, concerns, acknowledgements, and crap like that soon!
Matthew Finger
Op-Ed Editor
Pat Stevenson
Asst. Op-Ed Editor
The Xavier Newswire
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