Today is Plan Your Epitaph day. Perhaps you’re confused about why you would ever want to plan your epitaph. I am.

I think it’s ridiculous that tombstones have stayed the same over the years.

Everything else has joined the technology revolution. When will tombstones finally jump on the bandwagon?

We should have interactive tombstones. Graveyards wouldn’t be as lonely if you could wander around from one computer headstone to the next, skimming through people’s lives and interests.

It could be just like the Facebook! We could learn intimate details about people we’ll never meet, see their friends, and feel a little closer to them, though we’ll never introduce ourselves.

Mr. Zuckerberg, Facebook producer, should get on that one.

If you’re in the mood for more celebration of death, go to the Gallagher Student Center food court at 7 p.m. tonight for a celebration of "The Day of the Dead."

If it gets too hot in there, you can take off all your clothes. Birthday boy Nelly wants it that way. I asked.

Tonight at 7:57 p.m. at the soccer stadium, there will be a Powderpuff Football game under the lights. With that specific of a time, I would be prompt because these people obviously mean business.

In 1928, Mickey Mouse first debuted as "Steamboat Willie" in the short animation "Steamboat Willie," produced by Walt Disney.

The road to stardom wasn’t a smooth one for Mr. Mouse, who was often teased for his ambitions. His comically large ears were a source of pain and ridicule in his childhood. That changed with Mr. Disney, whom Mickey affectionately called "Notorious D. I. Snee." Mr. Disney saw real talent in Mickey and offered him the opportunity of a lifetime.

Tonight is the Homecoming dance for only $10. If this is the first you’ve heard of it, quit depending on me for your social life. It’s pathetic.

Tonight is opening night of the Xavier Players’ production of "Sweeney Todd" at the Gallagher Student Center Theater at 7:30 p.m.

I hope you caught that... Sweeney! The name is Sweeney! I know I’ve got to go see it with a title like "Sweeney."

In 1939, the first air conditioned car was introduced to the market at an auto show in Chicago. Just in time for the Chicago winter. Sweet.

In 1879, Will Rogers was born in Oklahoma. Sean "Diddy" Combs was also born on this day in 1969. One is from Oklahoma and the other is from New York City, so they both speak a dialect nobody understands. Also, one was a cowboy and one was a bad boy. It works. Trust me.

If you don’t go to the events I tell you about, I will probably smack you, and you’ll end up calling me crying, and I won’t feel sympathetic because I gave you fair warning. Wussy.

Community Action day will be taking place from 9 a.m. until 1 p.m. Meet in the Gallagher Student center for a free t-shirt, breakfast, lunch, and warm fuzzy feelings.

If you missed it last night, you can still go see "Sweeney Todd" tonight at the Gallagher Student Center at 7:30 p.m. So quit crying, you crybaby, and go see the show.

Eva Gardener and Frank Sinatra married today in 1950. They stayed married for seven years, a premeditated decision. They wanted to be married long enough to dedicate each year of their marriage to a specific dwarf from "Snow White." Some people are strange, let’s face it.

José V. Saval from the University of Edinburgh will be speaking about a Spanish detective novel at 4 p.m. on the 10th floor of Schott Hall today. Know that.

Ta-ta-ta Tuesday, junior. Not just any Tuesday, mind you, it’s election day for Ohio.

For those of you who are registered in Cincinnati, go choose which qualified, prepared, moderate Democrat you feel like supporting today. The variety of choices is overwhelming.

Today is the start of Pursuit of Happiness week. I can think of no better way to pursue happiness than by taking a trip to the Louvre, which opened today in 1793.