Pat Falvey   #27

One of the few original members of the Class of 2013, Pat Falvey is a man of many names. Ficus burst onto the scene with a big rookie campaign, undoubtedly aided by his second-half chowzer usage. The Boy can frequently be seen wielding an eXo, which when in his hands should be considered a weapon of mass destruction.  The Walpole Wonder hails from Walpole, Massachusetts: home of the Rebels and of Cedar Junction State Prison.  As a lad, he was forced to raise himself on the streets, clothing himself in only Walpole High T-shirts and Dominican Republic fitted. It is this upbringing that causes The Boy to be so quiet during the daytime and most weekdays, only starting to communicate around 10:15 PM on Thursday nights.

 

Athletics have always come easy to Ficus. Most of his baseball skills were honed throwing apples at mallards in nearby lakes. However, basketball remains his true passion. A Big East boy at heart, Falvey longs for the days of Troy Bell, Karl Krauser, and Josh Boone. His favorite player as a youth was obviously Chevon Troutman, and his dream was to play for Ben Howland at Pittsburgh. Unfortunately, when Howland left for UCLA, Ficus' dreams were shattered and he took to the diamond. The rest is history.  To this day, The Boy can be seen practicing his Big East play on the court or even at local neighborhood house gatherings. The Boy will never give up on the dream.

 

As one of only two freshmen on the team his first year, Falvey had the opportunity to learn from multiple mentors.  He studied the art of the long-nine under Kenneth Harris and can now be seen heaving balls that disappear into the night above the soccer field on a cool autumn evening. He learned how to Lo-Penetrate by watching Tim Harrington and Luke Mukuda for months before achieving the first of his recorded four.  Undeniably, he learned how to chew a good chowzer when Brenden Regan took the lad under his wing.

 

Other Ficus hobbies include whale watching (where he hopes to catch a glimpse of the ever-so-rare White Whale,) Hottubs (where he spent most of his time in Florida and earned a spot on the Hottub Grays,) Pink Slips Games (where he hopes to avenge an embarrassing showing against Boots McElroy at the Main Sail Suites despite the help of countless partners) Mario Kart (still trying to refine his skills here,) Cheesy G Giveaways and Cheesy G bets (he once hit a dinger with the eXo for a cheesy G which was never awarded,) the Miracle Device (none of this Miracle Device Jr. BS,) and most importantly Fazoli's.

 

With so many accomplishments in such a short period of time, one can only wonder what the future holds for The Boy. Only one thing is for sure: Brankle would be proud. In the meantime, Ficus will keep living his life like its the last Fatted Calf in the bucket.